The year is whenever. Your goal: escape down to the Chesapeake Bay. The problem: Baltimore is a vortex, hon, and it does not want you to leave. Dodge crab bites, potholes, boots on Charles Street, and the eternal wait for the Light Rail. But remember Baltimore neighbors are the best neighbors, and you might just find some help along the way (or at least a free beer or something).

Manage your crab cakes, gas, Old Bay, and morale. Make it 320 miles to the open bay before you run out of health. Good luck.